A Politically Incorrect Drinking Song for Libertarians and Conservatives

A truly great saloon song(Category Five NC-17 warning!)  came my way on YouTube .

It’s called “B*gger Off”and, if you can get past the quarterdeck language, it’s a ROFLYAO kind of ditty. Anyone who has dealt with obnoxious drunks can empathize with the sentiments of the band members who are singing it. If you try to sing it without the score, the verses fit very well with the metre of the Scotsman song, but the chorus doesn’t. Alas, my nonexistent musical talent doesn’t do it justice; just invite me on an elk or moose hunt and see if I don’t draw in a big, rutting bull with my singing voice!

So I thought: “Drunks are but a pimple compared to the plague on our species that Progressives constitute.” Without further ado, I present the result of that thought: my equally NC-17, unsuitable for ladies, children or clergy, version of “B*gger Off,” directed at the subhuman culls known as libtards, Progressives, or just plain arse-hats:

Chorus: Bugger off, Progressives, bugger off!/Bugger off, Progressives, bugger off!/ Like a herd of bloody swine/who refuse to leave the trough,/You’ll get no more tax money, so you libtards bugger off!

You’ve screwed our country to the wall since Amendment XVI/Took nigh on a hundred years but our money’s running dry/You spent it on the worthless when the stars we could’ve reached/ Well bugger off, Progressives, ’cause your hull we’re ’bout to breach!

Chorus: Bugger off, etc.

Your President/Messiah doesn’t even come from here./And all of thems as knows will say he’s a Muslim and a queer./We don’t care who makes love to him, or if he lifts his arse./But to our freedom he is both a danger and a farce!

Chorus: Bugger off, etc.

You want to take our guns and then you say its for the kids./Truth be, it’s like as not that you are servants to your ids./ You call guns phallic symbols, it’s what you often say./But what kind of a psycho wants to cut folk’s junk away?

Chorus: Bugger off, etc.

Take from the rich, give to the poor, you’re Robin Hood, you think./And then you sit and wonder why the country’s in the drink./Of other peoples’ money we shortly will run out/For the laws of economics and of math you cannot flout!

Chorus: Bugger off, etc.

You worship Mother Gaia, we’re killing her you say./And then you dump old mining waste with your goddamn EPA./How pricey is our energy, how empty is our cup!/But we know how to handle you: shoot, shovel… and shut up!

Chorus: Bugger off, etc.

I’ve sung a lot about you, my voice is getting tired./If I weren’t unemployed you’d surely try to get me fired./But having all this time to think has left me far less soft/So leave me be, Progressives, or I’ll MAKE you bugger off!

Chorus: Bugger off, etc.

I don’t care who uses/sings this, as long as he, she, rhe, or it does it with joy, with verve, and with the copious assistance of beer, wine or strong drink. I do, however, insist that it be attributed to Simon Jester of Luna City, and nobody else, in memory of Robert Heinlein!


About depwavid

Contradictory facts: 1). I have Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism characterized by a total lack of social sense and the unique ability to beat a dead horse into individual component atoms; 2). I'm an NRA Life Member who thinks the NRA doesn't go far enough in protecting the Second Amendment.; 3). I'm a MENSA-qualified genius who let his membership lapse; 4). I'm a committed Christian; 5). I'm an equally committed libertarian. 6). I admire the writings of Robert Heinlein and L.Neil Smith, but not those of Dietrich Bonhoffer, Hannah Hurnard, or Oswald Chambers; 7). I enjoyed reading Hilaire Belloc's book on the Reformation, although I disagreed with 70-80% of his premises, and... 8). There's a lot more; I'm really impossible to categorize. Maybe I'll tell you later...
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